Episode 1 – Healing Single Mothers Show
I’m so excited to be recording! This episode is all about being open. to receive support. so that you can manifest your Abundantly Ever After. Here’s a bit of what you’ll discover:
- Trauma and lack of support can cause you to shut down.
- Operating in ‘Hustle Mode’ creates an energetic imbalance.
- Part of healing and growth requires support.
- Everything you desire is available to you.
Hello, peace and blessings. This is Jovhannah, The Spiritual Love Healer. Today, I want to talk about, co-creation and connection and support. So this is something that I’ve been learning over the past couple of years, myself, and it was just reinforced to me. So I wanted to really talk about it here in this sacred space with you.
We often have these big grand dreams and these visions for our life that seem just so magnificent and larger than anything that we’ve ever seen before. Right?
The Set Up – Ms. Pope’ing It
The thing is where we can get stuck or set ourselves up for failure is in trying to do it ourselves, especially being single Mothers. Especially if your situation is similar to mine and maybe you did not have a lot of familial support. And it was really you just trying to navigate these waters by yourself. You’ve, might’ve gotten yourself to a point where you’re like, f*ck it.
I don’t need anybody else. I’m going to figure it out, whatever it takes, I’ll figure it out. I’m a handle it, right? We put on our Olivia Pope hat and we go to war, except we’re doing it by ourselves. And often that puts us in a very Yang, a very masculine energy where we’re just like do, do, do, do, do, do!
We’re doing ALL the things. We’re trying to take all the steps, doing all the actions, just going!! Sometimes on empty. Just pushing ourselves so hard. Whether it’s working overtime to get that extra money, whether it’s working two or three jobs to bring in that extra money.
Whatever the case may be, it puts us into a state of, I gotta go get it. I gotta hustle. If I don’t go out and get it, how is this going to happen?
And that puts us, like I said, in a state of imbalance where we’re no longer acting out out of balance between our masculine and feminine energies.
It’s like, we are too balanced in that masculine. Like, I don’t need anybody. I got this. I’ma handle it, whatever. I don’t need you. I’ll figure it out. It’s cool. I’ll take care of it. Somehow, someway I’m gonna fix it. Don’t worry about it.
I don’t need nobody for sh*t.
Stop Asking For Help
And for a very long time, because there were some serious situations where I needed help and I couldn’t do it on my own. I asked for help and no help was there. No help was offered. I was often ridiculed or judged. People just looked at me like I was a joke.
So it got to the point where I stopped asking for help.
And it wasn’t because I didn’t need it. It was because I knew there was none around me. Help did not exist for me. So I had to go out and create it. That’s not healthy for so many reasons. I don’t even want to get into that right now. But when you put yourself, it’s almost like you take on this it’s me against the world.
Being in Survival Mode
Have y’all ever seen those shows where they go and they rescue pit bulls? That’s living under a porch and she’s got her puppies back there and she is just super vicious?
Cause she’s like, “yo F you, we out here, I’ve been out here alone. You know, running the streets, trying to find food for my pups. I don’t know who you are. Don’t you come over here! Like, I don’t want your help. I’m good. I figured it out. This looks like a dangerous situation.”
And so the dog is super vicious because it’s been on its own for so long. Throughout her pregnancy, carrying her pups, having to look for scraps, and then trying to find a safe space to even nurse them, and have a safe space for them to be warm, and a place to call home.
Like her humans, whoever they were, left her out there by herself to fend for herself. She had to learn how to just survive on the streets. So after you go through that traumatic situation, and I know I’m talking about dogs, but I got a little puppy. It’s okay, it’s coming together though.
After you go through a traumatic situation, and you’ve done it. It might not be perfect. It might not be the lavish life. She’s not living in like, you know, the doggy penthouse or anything. She’s living under a porch, but she’s made it. She got it out the mud literally. Survived against all odds. Didn’t get hit by a car. Her pups are doing good. They’re nice and juicy. They’re eating. And she’s able to go and find food and come back and keep an eye on her family.
Rebuilding Trust to Receive Help
And so when this being, this person, this human who reminds her of the same people that left her for dead comes along like, “oh my gosh! Let me help you little puppy. Like I’m here. I’m nice”.
She’s like, fu*k that I’m growling. You’re gonna see my teeth. Like I will bite your head off type energy.
And so that’s why the rescuers, they have to come back. Right? They see, they first they identify the puppy, the dog, and maybe they watch it like, oh wow, she’s living under the porch. Yeah. She’s a little vicious. She’s pissed, she’s upset. She’s in protection mode. She’s on go mode. Like you’re not about to threaten my wellbeing by coming into my space. Cause I don’t need you now I’ve done this on my own.
And so it takes some coaxing. It takes some treats. It takes some connection. Like, let me show you that I’m not here to hurt you. Let me show you that I can help you. Let me show you that there’s something better available than living under this porch for you and your puppies.
And once the dog finally trusts that, they can let their guard down. They trust that this other human can do something positive for them.
They finally start to wag their tail a little bit. They stop growling. They stop bearing their teeth. They stop being in protect action mode. And now she’s like, *deep sigh of relief*. I’ll accept help. Now in a mode to receive whatever that rescuer has to offer. Sometimes that can take days or weeks, you know? And it just depends on how much trauma the dog has been through.
Are You Embodying This Energy?
And I parallel this because as humans as Mothers, we put ourselves in a similar situation. We’re probably not growling at people, but maybe you are cutting people off, cussing them out. I don’t know. But there’s some way that you, your inner instinct takes over and it puts you in a state where you’re not receptive to other people, to their help – because you’ve been hurt in the past. You’ve been let down, you’ve had to do it all on your own.
And you think people are full of sh*t. And so you go into mama bear mode, you go into your yang energy where you like, I got it. I don’t need it. Whatever. I’m gonna figure it out. Don’t worry about me F you, whatever. You’re not paying my bills. You’re not doing nothing for me and mine. Your opinion, your thought, your little help, like whatever it is I don’t want it because I’ve got it.
Whatever you have can possibly threaten what I’ve done so far and I’m not willing to risk it. So you put yourself in that position where you’re not trusting. You’re not open to receive help guidance support because of the things that you’ve been through in the past.
Co-Creation Helps You Manifest Your Dreams
So you’re in a state where you’re not receiving and you’re not open to receive, but that big grand life, the vision that you have for yourself, for your children, for your future, it’s going to take support. It’s going to take co-creating with other people is going to definitely take divine intervention and guidance in order for that to manifest.
And one of the reasons why community and support is so important because people and situations or opportunities are placed in your path.
So that what it is that you desire to manifest can happen.
Maybe your dream is to go back to school. You’re like, I don’t know how I’m going to do this. And you just so happen to meet someone who’s on a board of this or that and the third. And they’re Oh yeah, I can get you in to said school. And you’re like, what?
Maybe you had an eye on a job. It’s a great company, great benefits. The pay is good. They got a childcare center on site. And you’re just like, I want to work there. Like that’s such a great company. I would go there and do great things. And you just so happen to meet somebody. That’s like, oh yeah, I’m an HR representative for such and such company.
And they’re like, oh, we’re hiring. Here’s the link. Don’t even send an application, email me your resume directly. And I’m going to schedule an interview for you. So you can skip to the head of the line because I like you. I think you have something to offer. It’s kismet, it’s divine. It’s having sent. The help that you need aligns with you when you are open to receive it.
Isolating Myself, But Tired of Fighting
And that’s the thing for so long. I would isolate myself from people. I was very leery of people, men, and women because of the trauma and the disappointments, and the betrayals that I had experienced in the past.
But once I started doing my own healing work and really tuning into my intuition, I allowed myself to open up to different types of relationships and no longer allow the circumstances and situations that I’d experienced in the past to dictate who I allowed into my life, because it was starving me in different ways.
I was tired of fighting. I was tired of doing it alone. I was tired of having to like protect myself all the time. And so once I opened up, I found so many beautiful, beautiful people. Whether it came from creating new friendships or working with particular spiritual healers or coaches. Whether it came from joining programs to develop myself on a personal and spiritual level where I met new people.
You Need Support
And so what I want to impress upon you is that your big vision, your big dream, the major transformation that you want to see in your life, it’s going to take support. Sometimes that support may come in the form of a friendship. Maybe it comes in the form of a coach or a community membership, or working with a particular healer, joining some sort of Facebook group or any group, something that really feels you.
Maybe it comes from a book that you purchase, but it’s going to take support. It’s going to take you being open to receive, and then aligning with the different connections. The people, the opportunities, the information, the places, the divine guidance to help you take the right steps to get to where you want to go and I get it.
I know how easy it is to be like, man F that I’ll figure it out. You don’t have to do that. That’s the hard way! Doing it alone will keep you stuck. It’ll keep you playing small. It’ll keep you going back to old situations that feel comfortable and familiar.
Connect with the Right People
While connecting with new people that see you that see the expanded, the evolved, the best version of yourself. They’re going to push you out of that. They’re going to say, why would you do that?
Like, that’s not who you want to be like, are you sure that’s the decision that you want to make? They’re gonna call you to task because they know that you can do better.
Those are the people that you need to be around, not the ones that want to keep you hiding under the porch, between a rock and a hard place, feeling like you have to fight for everything in this world. There’s nothing in this world that you have to fight for.
Everything You Desire Is Already Yours
Because everything that you desire is already yours. And we live in a world of abundance. Do you understand that? There is enough for all of us to have everything that we want. Everything that we need. Everything that we desire.
There is more than enough. So all of that back against the wall, I gotta get it. I gotta get it out the mud I have to, I have to fight for it. I have to be cutthroat.
We can release that and step into our divine feminine energy step into receiving step into joy and abundance and bliss, and completely shift everything in our lives.
And I’m telling you this because I have seen it. I have experienced, I have done it, and I continue to do it. And as I grow and as I evolve, so does my network. So does my circle. And I am connected to some powerful, amazing human beings in this lifetime. And I’m super grateful for these lessons, because I wouldn’t have known this before.
Who knew that ME who had zero support in a time where I was dealing with the most traumatic and painful experiences of my life would be surrounded by such divine, beautiful people.
So I hope that this message has landed in your heart and has helped you to open and expand your heart and mind. Thank you for tuning in. I am Jovhannah, The Spiritual Love Healer connect with me inside of the Healing, Single Mothers Community at www.healingsinglemothers.com because there is so much more of this to help you heal, grow, thrive, and live abundantly ever after.
I love you. Bye.